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Mourning for Lost Years

by Wilgskill

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Antifascist Black Metal Network
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Antifascist Black Metal Network Guitar tones are thick and tuned low here and yet it never takes a way from the melancholic feel of this album. The riffs are mid tempo and they repeat themselves endlessly, perhaps reminding us of the toll that as Gabriel himself puts it, "was a rough album emotionally to make" full review: shorturl.at/NPUV6
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1.
You think you’re the fault You think you’re the one that Deserves this pain Oh young one Oh child I wish I could come back And embrace you Tell you that it’s not your fault Let you know all that I’ve learned They abused you In the dungeon called the hospital Told you wrongs That made you worse Medication that made you numb You didn’t deserve this All this pain This wasn’t your fault I wish I could avenge you I wish I could take back the years The ones that I lost I guess the best revenge Is to live my life Never go back Never return To the dungeons You shall not I am now the one that they feared The one they wanted to destroy Never go back Never return Never go back Never return You can’t undo the trauma You can’t undo the memories But what you can do Is live like you want Don’t let them hold you back Never go back Never return Never go back Never return You didn’t deserve this! I swear You didn't, I promise You can let yourself triumph Triumph Triumph Live your life! And triumph! Triumph Live your life And triumph Triumph I said triumph
2.
Lost time throughout the years That I don’t remember Lost time through the days That I don’t recall Waking up in locations Different from where I was I can’t remember Oh what have I done What is happening? I cannot recall the days The days that I harmed them The days I disappeared He doesn’t have just him in his head I don’t know where it comes from Perhaps I too am not alone Perhaps, I should realize that There are more of us up here No one will understand will they? The times I don’t recall When someone takes over my body Does things that I wouldn’t Multiple personalities In this one brain In this one head I am not alone How do I explain There are more of us up here There’s more than just me There’re more of us up here There's more of us More of us up here
3.
I have lost my childhood To your actions To your selfishness To your hatred The youthfulness of my life Gone with your vile strike Wandering about in a haze Not noticing the passing of days Where have the years gone? Where has the time went? How am I already here? How am I still alive? Now I mourn for lost years Now I mourn for time gone Now I mourn for the time that has disappeared Anger Sadness Do I cry Do I scream Do I fight Do I give up Anger fills my veins Six years of life Gone to the void Still suffering at times Let yourself mourn Let yourself cry A third of your life gone A third of your life to the void Let yourself mourn Let yourself cry A third of your life gone A third of your life to the void

about

Three songs about mental health, more blatantly personal than the first album.
“You Didn’t Deserve This” came during a warm February. It’s a reassurance of what I’ve learned, talking to my younger self.
“There Are More of Us Up Here” came during the time I was diagnosed with DID in May.
“Mourning for Lost Years” was the EP title I came up with before the song, which I wrote in early July. I’ve been in the process of mourning my adolescence, only really coming out of my six years of barely any memory and depression in 2022.
This was a rough album emotionally to make, but I hope you all enjoy it.

credits

released August 4, 2023

Cover Art is “Returning Home at Sunset” by Desire Thomassin (Circa 1894)

Gabriel Berger-Everything

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Of the Mountains Projects Peekskill, New York

The place where you can find all the musical projects of Gabriel Berger.

Antifascist queer neurodivergent college student who makes music on the side.

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